go forth and see?

why is life the way it is? does it have to be this way?
if God has a will for my life why do i find it so hard to see the life i am to live?
how can God do something good through my life, when though i may have potential, my strength of character often sees me fall?
how has my so called good life, been good at all, i have never been without need, always a place for my head and food in my stomach?
how without struggles am i to grow?
shall i run away and thrust myself into harms way?
do i not already run when troubles come, when things become too hard, too much to cope?
how will i stand and live life if my back is always turned?
why is this world so corrupted that we can't see truth?
why is so much truth seen as so much foolishness?
why is foolishness seen to be as success?
is to seek for success only foolishness?
why is it that people of the Church often see the same foolishness as success?
why is it that for those who for them success looks totally different are looked upon as failures?
how is it then that the church can have success?
is it that together we seek success for one another,that your success is my success?
but if i am helping you find success who then will help me?
is that a selfish question and should i just go forth and see?