no one is exempt
the senior pastor at my church Steve, shared this story on sunday night, along with a challenge of the importance of Love
a story, with some adaptation, from John Duckworth in "Joan ’n’ the Whale" and other stories you never heard in Sunday School
**
Once upon a time way up in the mountains somewhere in Europe there was a peaceful little village. It was a quaint village with the unlikely name of St. Cold-as-ice-berg. Overshadowing this quiet village was the imposing grey edifice of the castle Van Gelical, the home of the maddest scientist of them all, the notorious, the infamous, Dr. Emil Van Gelical!
Deep in the eerily lit dungeon of this mighty castle there is a movement. A gaunt figure in a once-white lab coat, now stained with the evidence of his many notorious experiments, moves purposefully towards the operating table in the middle of the room. Yes, it is … Dr E. Van Gelical!
Under the dirty grey sheet lies a human form. Or is it human? As the doctor approaches the table he calls for his trusted assistant, "Igor, come quickly!"
Igor appears, shuffling across the floor, carrying a large cardboard box.
"It's time for my greatest experiment", pronounces the doctor
"Goody! I love experiments, master", wheezes Igor,
The doctor continues, "Tonight I will show the world who is a genius. Tonight will be my greatest triumph. I am going to achieve what no person has ever done before. I am going to create spiritual life!" All around lightning flashes and thunder roars.
"Tonight I will create CHRISTIANSTEIN! Christianstein, the greatest specimen of spiritual life the world has ever known. He will have everything. Everything! Let the operation begin."
As he speaks the doctor slowly pulls back the sheet, uncovering the inanimate form of a young man dressed in a white shirt, grey tie and blue polyester suit. Clean shaven, with short neat hair. A large black Bible by his side…
The operation begins. The equipping of his creation is at hand. "Igor give me the bottle marked, 'Voice of a great evangelist'." He draws the contents into a syringe and slowly injects the lifeless form on the table.
"Now the one marked, 'The courage of Stephen'," Igor hands him a dusty phial. "Also the ancient looking flask, the one containing the patience of Job." And so the operation continues for a long, long time… Eventually there are only a few small bottles with weirdly coloured fluids left. At Igor's inquiring glance Doc. Van Gelical explains, "Those are some special serums I have distilled. Now hand me a fresh syringe and we will continue."
"First a double dose of prayer and daily Bible reading", the liquid is injected into the limp arm.
Then - faithful Church attendance
- generous giving (can't have too much of that)
- temperance topped up with anti-extremism
- desire for volunteer work
- ability to resist temptation
- willingness to be on rosters
- cheerful obedience
- last, but not least, a triple dose of orthodoxy (Orthoxicol for churches). Very important that one.
The Doctor checks the list on his clipboard. Igor scours the boxes. Everything has been used; nothing has been left out,
Dr. Van Gelical moves over to the electrical control panel. The storm is still raging outside. He throws a massive switch on. Lightning bursts around them like a thousand suns, raw energy surges through the wires. The figure on the table begins to quiver.
"He's moving!", Igor shouts with glee,
Master and servant watch breathlessly as the thing called Christianstein slowly pulls itself up to a sitting position, then stiffly climbs from the table.
The doctor stands transfixed,... slowly he finds his voice, "Speak to me, my creation!"
The figure frowns, a low hostile growl comes from its throat (already practising for some church meetings), "If I speak in the tongues of men and angels, but have not love..."
"Love? Love? What does he mean?" the doctor asks plaintively as he hurriedly examines his clipboard.
"If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have faith that can move mountains, but have not love..."
"Igor what does he mean, love?"
"I don’t know master," Igor snivels as he cringes and crawls under the table.
"If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I ... gain... nothing!"
"Nothing? Not even a teensy, little something?"
"AAArgh!!!" the creature bellows as it hurls itself at him and then off into the night.
"Igor, you fool! I knew we left out something ... such a little thing.”
All Igor could stammer was, "I…, I…, I think ... we ... created… a... monster.”
**
my adaptation of this story
**
Once upon a time way up in the mountains somewhere in Europe there was a peaceful little village. It was a quaint village with the unlikely name of St. Cold-as-ice-berg. Overshadowing this quiet village was the imposing grey edifice of the castle Mergent, the home of the maddest scientist of them all, the notorious, the infamous, Dr. Emil Mergent!
Deep in the eerily lit dungeon of this mighty castle there is a movement. A gaunt figure in a once-white lab coat, now stained with the evidence of his many notorious experiments, moves purposefully towards the operating table in the middle of the room. Yes, it is … Dr E. Mergent!
Under the dirty grey sheet lies a human form. Or is it human? As the doctor approaches the table he calls for his trusted assistant, "Igor, come quickly!"
Igor appears, shuffling across the floor, carrying a large cardboard box.
"It's time for my greatest experiment", pronounces the doctor
"Goody! I love experiments, master", wheezes Igor,
The doctor continues, "Tonight I will show the world who is a genius. Tonight will be my greatest triumph. I am going to achieve what no person has ever done before. I am going to create spiritual life!" All around lightning flashes and thunder roars.
"Tonight I will create CHRISTIANSTEIN! Christianstein, the greatest specimen of spiritual life the world has ever known. He will have everything. Everything! Let the operation begin."
As he speaks the doctor slowly pulls back the sheet, uncovering the inanimate form of a young man dressed in a black t-shirt, trucker hat and blue denim jeans. Slightly un-shaven, with long dreadlocked hair. A small gospel of mark message by his side…
The operation begins. The equipping of his creation is at hand. "Igor give me the bottle marked, 'Incarnational thinking of an evengelist'." He draws the contents into a syringe and slowly injects the lifeless form on the table.
"Now the one marked, 'The courage of Stephen'," Igor hands him a dusty phial. "Also the ancient looking flask, the one containing the patience of Job." And so the operation continues for a long, long time… Eventually there are only a few small bottles with weirdly coloured fluids left. At Igor's inquiring glance Doc. Mergent explains, "Those are some special serums I have distilled. Now hand me a fresh syringe and we will continue."
"First a double dose of prayer and daily Bible reading", the liquid is injected into the limp arm.
Then
- postmordenism
- specific emerging incarnational leadership training
- faithful emergent home church attendance
- generous giving (can't have too much of that)
- brodering extremism
- living dangerously
- spirituality
- volunteer worker
- ability to resist temptation
- beer drinker
- full participation
- feed the hungry
- culturally relevant
- blogs
- last, but not least, a triple dose of incarnational and contextual evangelism. Very important that one.
The Doctor checks the list on his clipboard. Igor scours the boxes. Everything has been used; nothing has been left out,
Dr. Mergent moves over to the electrical control panel. The storm is still raging outside. He throws a massive switch on. Lightning bursts around them like a thousand suns, raw energy surges through the wires. The figure on the table begins to quiver.
"He's moving!", Igor shouts with glee,
Master and servant watch breathlessly as the thing called Christianstein slowly pulls itself up to a sitting position, then stiffly climbs from the table.
The doctor stands transfixed,... slowly he finds his voice, "Speak to me, my creation!"
The figure frowns, a low hostile growl comes from its throat (already practising for some small home church meetings), "If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy, but don't love..."
"Love? Love? What does he mean?" the doctor asks plaintively as he hurriedly examines his clipboard.
"If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, "Jump," and it jumps, but I don't love..."
"Igor what does he mean, love?"
"I don’t know master," Igor snivels as he cringes and crawls under the table.
"If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere!"
"Nowhere? Not even a teensy, little somewhere?"
"AAArgh!!!" the creature bellows as it hurls itself at him and then off into the night.
"Igor, you fool! I knew we left out something ... such a little thing.”
All Igor could stammer was, "I…, I…, I think ... we ... created… a... monster.”
**
It's not just mainstream chruches who can create monsters, emerging churches can too, no one is exempt and we all need God's love in our lives, and we have plenty to give out
a story, with some adaptation, from John Duckworth in "Joan ’n’ the Whale" and other stories you never heard in Sunday School
**
Once upon a time way up in the mountains somewhere in Europe there was a peaceful little village. It was a quaint village with the unlikely name of St. Cold-as-ice-berg. Overshadowing this quiet village was the imposing grey edifice of the castle Van Gelical, the home of the maddest scientist of them all, the notorious, the infamous, Dr. Emil Van Gelical!
Deep in the eerily lit dungeon of this mighty castle there is a movement. A gaunt figure in a once-white lab coat, now stained with the evidence of his many notorious experiments, moves purposefully towards the operating table in the middle of the room. Yes, it is … Dr E. Van Gelical!
Under the dirty grey sheet lies a human form. Or is it human? As the doctor approaches the table he calls for his trusted assistant, "Igor, come quickly!"
Igor appears, shuffling across the floor, carrying a large cardboard box.
"It's time for my greatest experiment", pronounces the doctor
"Goody! I love experiments, master", wheezes Igor,
The doctor continues, "Tonight I will show the world who is a genius. Tonight will be my greatest triumph. I am going to achieve what no person has ever done before. I am going to create spiritual life!" All around lightning flashes and thunder roars.
"Tonight I will create CHRISTIANSTEIN! Christianstein, the greatest specimen of spiritual life the world has ever known. He will have everything. Everything! Let the operation begin."
As he speaks the doctor slowly pulls back the sheet, uncovering the inanimate form of a young man dressed in a white shirt, grey tie and blue polyester suit. Clean shaven, with short neat hair. A large black Bible by his side…
The operation begins. The equipping of his creation is at hand. "Igor give me the bottle marked, 'Voice of a great evangelist'." He draws the contents into a syringe and slowly injects the lifeless form on the table.
"Now the one marked, 'The courage of Stephen'," Igor hands him a dusty phial. "Also the ancient looking flask, the one containing the patience of Job." And so the operation continues for a long, long time… Eventually there are only a few small bottles with weirdly coloured fluids left. At Igor's inquiring glance Doc. Van Gelical explains, "Those are some special serums I have distilled. Now hand me a fresh syringe and we will continue."
"First a double dose of prayer and daily Bible reading", the liquid is injected into the limp arm.
Then - faithful Church attendance
- generous giving (can't have too much of that)
- temperance topped up with anti-extremism
- desire for volunteer work
- ability to resist temptation
- willingness to be on rosters
- cheerful obedience
- last, but not least, a triple dose of orthodoxy (Orthoxicol for churches). Very important that one.
The Doctor checks the list on his clipboard. Igor scours the boxes. Everything has been used; nothing has been left out,
Dr. Van Gelical moves over to the electrical control panel. The storm is still raging outside. He throws a massive switch on. Lightning bursts around them like a thousand suns, raw energy surges through the wires. The figure on the table begins to quiver.
"He's moving!", Igor shouts with glee,
Master and servant watch breathlessly as the thing called Christianstein slowly pulls itself up to a sitting position, then stiffly climbs from the table.
The doctor stands transfixed,... slowly he finds his voice, "Speak to me, my creation!"
The figure frowns, a low hostile growl comes from its throat (already practising for some church meetings), "If I speak in the tongues of men and angels, but have not love..."
"Love? Love? What does he mean?" the doctor asks plaintively as he hurriedly examines his clipboard.
"If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have faith that can move mountains, but have not love..."
"Igor what does he mean, love?"
"I don’t know master," Igor snivels as he cringes and crawls under the table.
"If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I ... gain... nothing!"
"Nothing? Not even a teensy, little something?"
"AAArgh!!!" the creature bellows as it hurls itself at him and then off into the night.
"Igor, you fool! I knew we left out something ... such a little thing.”
All Igor could stammer was, "I…, I…, I think ... we ... created… a... monster.”
**
my adaptation of this story
**
Once upon a time way up in the mountains somewhere in Europe there was a peaceful little village. It was a quaint village with the unlikely name of St. Cold-as-ice-berg. Overshadowing this quiet village was the imposing grey edifice of the castle Mergent, the home of the maddest scientist of them all, the notorious, the infamous, Dr. Emil Mergent!
Deep in the eerily lit dungeon of this mighty castle there is a movement. A gaunt figure in a once-white lab coat, now stained with the evidence of his many notorious experiments, moves purposefully towards the operating table in the middle of the room. Yes, it is … Dr E. Mergent!
Under the dirty grey sheet lies a human form. Or is it human? As the doctor approaches the table he calls for his trusted assistant, "Igor, come quickly!"
Igor appears, shuffling across the floor, carrying a large cardboard box.
"It's time for my greatest experiment", pronounces the doctor
"Goody! I love experiments, master", wheezes Igor,
The doctor continues, "Tonight I will show the world who is a genius. Tonight will be my greatest triumph. I am going to achieve what no person has ever done before. I am going to create spiritual life!" All around lightning flashes and thunder roars.
"Tonight I will create CHRISTIANSTEIN! Christianstein, the greatest specimen of spiritual life the world has ever known. He will have everything. Everything! Let the operation begin."
As he speaks the doctor slowly pulls back the sheet, uncovering the inanimate form of a young man dressed in a black t-shirt, trucker hat and blue denim jeans. Slightly un-shaven, with long dreadlocked hair. A small gospel of mark message by his side…
The operation begins. The equipping of his creation is at hand. "Igor give me the bottle marked, 'Incarnational thinking of an evengelist'." He draws the contents into a syringe and slowly injects the lifeless form on the table.
"Now the one marked, 'The courage of Stephen'," Igor hands him a dusty phial. "Also the ancient looking flask, the one containing the patience of Job." And so the operation continues for a long, long time… Eventually there are only a few small bottles with weirdly coloured fluids left. At Igor's inquiring glance Doc. Mergent explains, "Those are some special serums I have distilled. Now hand me a fresh syringe and we will continue."
"First a double dose of prayer and daily Bible reading", the liquid is injected into the limp arm.
Then
- postmordenism
- specific emerging incarnational leadership training
- faithful emergent home church attendance
- generous giving (can't have too much of that)
- brodering extremism
- living dangerously
- spirituality
- volunteer worker
- ability to resist temptation
- beer drinker
- full participation
- feed the hungry
- culturally relevant
- blogs
- last, but not least, a triple dose of incarnational and contextual evangelism. Very important that one.
The Doctor checks the list on his clipboard. Igor scours the boxes. Everything has been used; nothing has been left out,
Dr. Mergent moves over to the electrical control panel. The storm is still raging outside. He throws a massive switch on. Lightning bursts around them like a thousand suns, raw energy surges through the wires. The figure on the table begins to quiver.
"He's moving!", Igor shouts with glee,
Master and servant watch breathlessly as the thing called Christianstein slowly pulls itself up to a sitting position, then stiffly climbs from the table.
The doctor stands transfixed,... slowly he finds his voice, "Speak to me, my creation!"
The figure frowns, a low hostile growl comes from its throat (already practising for some small home church meetings), "If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy, but don't love..."
"Love? Love? What does he mean?" the doctor asks plaintively as he hurriedly examines his clipboard.
"If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, "Jump," and it jumps, but I don't love..."
"Igor what does he mean, love?"
"I don’t know master," Igor snivels as he cringes and crawls under the table.
"If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere!"
"Nowhere? Not even a teensy, little somewhere?"
"AAArgh!!!" the creature bellows as it hurls itself at him and then off into the night.
"Igor, you fool! I knew we left out something ... such a little thing.”
All Igor could stammer was, "I…, I…, I think ... we ... created… a... monster.”
**
It's not just mainstream chruches who can create monsters, emerging churches can too, no one is exempt and we all need God's love in our lives, and we have plenty to give out
posted by John M @ 9:26 pm
3 Comments:
At 05 May, 2005 18:49,
Trav said…
Nice man, you are very right
At 10 May, 2005 17:57,
Christop said…
Hey John, I have some more to add to this, but I can't remember what it is at the moment. Hopefully I remember in the next few days.
At 12 May, 2005 17:14,
Anonymous said…
I love it!!
Actually Rowland Croucher - an old guy I know, but a good thinker - was aking a similar question the other night - whether emergent Churches have the same problems with being critical and getting into exclusive patterns as "mainline" Churches do (my interpretation of his question...) I think it's true because people are people, wherever they are and whatever age ... I guess that's why we need love :)
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